Dirk sure knows how to choose ’em.


DirkStripper

Dirk Nowitzki doesn’t have a lot going for him right now. First, his lady friend got arrested in his house. Then the Mavericks got eliminated from the playoffs. Now, that lady friend is pregnant. That sucks.

That lady friend is Cristal Taylor, a former stripper cocktail waitress at a strip club who once defrauded a dentist out of $10,000 in free dental work. Oh yeah, she’s a keeper. Taylor was recently interviewed from prison by the Dallas Morning News, dropping the bombshell that she is indeed pregnant. Dirk is now doing exactly what any rational person would do: totally ignoring her.

I know what it’s like to be rich and famous as an amateur blogger and college student, so I know what these professional athletes, such as Dirk, are going through. You really have to pick the right girl. She needs to meet certain qualifications such as working as a stripper cocktail waitress, have been accused of defrauding someone, or look at good as Ms. Taylor does.

So how’d she find out she was pregnant?

“Well, they always give you a test,” she said. “They give you a urine test when you walk in and they give you a T.B. test. And the lady was like, ‘Oh, so when are you due?’

“I was like, ‘I don’t know when the court date is due.’ She was like, ‘Uh, no, you’re pregnant.

Say what? They’re using my taxes to test skanks in prison? That’s so not cool. It’s probably that damn Obama guy.

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