Shit. Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo broke up.


In today’s news that may be very bad for my Redskins chances of making the playoffs this year, Tony Romo broke up with girlfriend Jessica Simpson on her birthday eve.

I’m currently checking the official Dallas Cowboys website, but apparently they have something called “integrity.”

The Nine Commandments does not like this revelation because of Simpson’s ability to curse Romo when in attendance. I was just hoping her death rays could burn a hole in one of the arches over the new Dallas stadium, crashing upon Romo’s throat, choking him.

Or he could just choke, himself. I’d be fine with that.


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