Archive for the ‘Ladies’ Category

Cuff ’em: Drunk Lions fan.

September 22, 2009

If this were last season, I’d say Lions fans finally have something to cheer for, but they’ve got Mathew Stafford now and could actually win a game this season soooo….. this video is still awesome? Does that work? Yeah? No? Oh. Crud.

Well maybe you shouldn’t get so drunk next time, silly girl. You just know it’s not going to end well annnnnd here come the cuffs. Have fun in Detroit jail! I heard it’s a real friendly place.

Oh, it’s not? Crud.


RIP Simona Halep’s former breast friends. (tehe)

July 7, 2009


It’s (semi) official, Simona Halep has lost her two best friends, her left and right breasts. Halep vowed she would be undergoing breast reduction surgery and now we know that she did not reconsider. We here at The Nine Commandments believe that getting rid of something that has been blessed upon you is like slapping god across the face, but we also understand that it reduces back problems. We’re just saddened by this news and would like to look back on the Romanian tennis star the best way we can…


Joanna Krupa tells T.O. to ‘shut up.’ Good work.

June 23, 2009

Joanna Krupa is my kind of lady. She loves physical fitness, is super hot, cusses A LOT, and hates TO as much as I do. Did I mention she’s super hot? No? Yeah, she’s super hot.

This is a video from the new show Superstars on a channel I don’t care enough to look up because it’s not worth watching beyond this clip. Krupa calls TO a bad teammate, which is basically the same conclusion as anyone that has played on the same team lives in America.

[With Leather]

What’s this? A Joanna Krupa gallery. Horah!

A gift for Monday: The Oregon Cheerleaders.

June 22, 2009

oregon cheerleaders 3

No one likes Mondays, we all know that. As a reward for making it through another hot, crappy beginning of the week and making this my highest trafficked day… here’s a gallery of the University of Oregon cheerleaders, truly a bunch of diamonds in the rough with flat abs and beautiful faces.

Once again, you’re welcome.

Just because I’m in a good mood, here’s a big Natalie Gulbis gallery.

June 20, 2009

Natlie Gulbis 36

Natalie Gulbis is an extremely sexy girl playing on the LPGA tour. She also happens to be extremely talented. Gulbis is a 26-year-old stunner from Sacremento, California who went to college at the University of Arizona, albeit for one year joined the tour in 2002 from the Futures Tour and has two professional wins (1 in LPGA play). She also has 33 Top-10’s since becoming a full-time professional.

Gulbis has embraced her place in the golf world as a sex symbol posing for Maxim, FHM, as well as a calendar that she released in 2005. The USGA didn’t like the whole “sexy” thing with the calendar and refused to sell it at any events.

I know you didn’t read anything above because of what’s below. Perverts.

Danielle Lloyd brings you Thursday’s links.

June 11, 2009

Danielle Lloyd 9

Welcome to the Thursday link dump brought to you by the beautiful Danielle Lloyd. Check out all the links as well as Ms. Lloyd’s own personal gallery at the bottom.

Dan Marino is selling his palatial Mansion in Weston, Florida for a cool $13.5 million. Too bad no one wants to buy it. [The Big Lead]

Reaction on the Outside The Lines piece from Jerod Morris, the blogger that called out Raul Ibanez for POSSIBLY using steroids. [Midwest Sports Fans]

Tony Romo’s Facebook page. Super Classico! [Hogs Haven]

Full guide to the best Tweeters the Nations Capital has to offer. @LinsdayCzarniak is a must, even though she barely tweets. [Mister Irrelevant]

There is no way the Nationals are doing this on accident. All these FAILworthy happenings are going to turn out to be a publicity stunt. You heard it here first [DC Sports Bog]

Urban Meyer says his Gators are a good group of kids. So that’s why they’ve been involved in 24 arrests since 2005. I can’t wait till Tebow gets busted with crack. [ESPN]

AW FAWK Scorcese and DiCaprio doin’ anover movie wit Bawston accents. [Film Drunk]

Stan Van Gundy’s face is falling off. [College Humor]

Links brought to you by Jessiqa Pace.

May 28, 2009

Jessiqa Pace

Jenson Button won the Grand Prix of Monaco this past weekend, but in all honesty, that’s not the most important thing that happened. The drivers felt they were distracted so much by model Jessiqa Pace and her Martini ad located near the track. Lewis Hamilton actually happened to crash near the large image of the model before it was taken down. In honor of this, here’s a bunch of links and a gallery of the beautiful Pace. Enjoi.

Erin Andrews opened up to Dan Steinberg at the National Spelling Bee. In other news, I need more tissues. [DC Sports Bog]

Clemson whores out one of their athlete-students for our amusement. Thank you Clemson. [Deadspin]

Yo Teach! shows the new movie Funny People has the ability to be hilARIOUS. Oh yeah, Bo Burnham’s in this. [Film Drunk]

The infield at the Indy 500 is the new preakness! [Youtube]

Travis Henry has nothing on this guy. Desmond Hatchett is the father of 21 children with 11 different women, the US record. He’s only 29. [Pacman Jonesin]

How to survive prison if you’re anything like me. [Holy Taco]

The NHL and Capitals official statements on yesterdays steroid allegations. [DC Pro Sports Report]

Oklahoma police SUCK! [Yes but No but Yes]

In Memoriam: Simona Halep breasts.

May 28, 2009


Last week I posted a video of an up and coming tennis star from Romania, Simona Halep. News in today is that she will be going under the knife during the off season for breast reduction because they apparently “interfere” with her play. I think I speak for all men when I say this is a sad day for men everywhere. And to quote Jonah Hill from Superbad: “That’s like slapping God across the face for giving you a beautiful gift.”

Oh, and here’s a gallery.