Archive for the ‘nine commandments’ Category

We do sports but: WE’RE FOR COCO!

January 16, 2010

I’m a big Conan fan. From the Monorail episode to the string dance, Conan O’Brian has been my favorite. Let’s hear it for O’Brien when he needs it.


Merry Christmas from The Nine Commandments.

December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours.

SITE NEWS: Yeah, I got this.

August 11, 2009


What up peeps? Just checking in to say what’s up. I know I promised a team preview for my top 25 every weekday till the season starts on September 3rd, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen. I’m on vacation right now so don’t fault me for slacking on my blogging duties, I WILL GET ALL THE TEAM PREVIEWS DONE IN TIME. Don’t you worry about that. They may come out slightly delayed, but they will be there, don’t you worry.

While you wait, enjoy Emily Deyoung (above). You’re welcome.

Calendar for a sports fan.

August 3, 2009

August Sports Calendar copy

I know it’s the 3rd and this is a calendar for August, but it’s been a long weekend of packing up and coming east for a little vacation. So just to tell you a little about this calendar, I’ve always wanted to compile a bunch of sports into one single calendar, but either didn’t know how to design it or was way too lazy. This is just a rough first version of the calendar and I’ll be looking for more ways to spruce it up, make it look better visually and enhance it with more sports.

So take a look at it, offer some suggestions and enjoy August.

Site news: Out till the 29th.

July 23, 2009

Technical Difficulties

Haven’t posted for a while and wanted to update all of you on the progress of the site. I’m incredibly excited for the upcoming college football season and will be putting together team previews for the first official Nine Commandments top 25. The countdown to the beginning of the season will start on the 29th and run until the first game on September 3rd.

If you would like to contact me, email me at or hit me up on twitter @Redzou

Hope you are looking forward to the previews. I know I am.

Steelers break the second commandment.

July 6, 2009

steelers gnome

2. You shall sell no knock-off merchandise on eBay, or any craptastic memorabilia which shares likeness to what is in SportsHeaven; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For He, the Ditka, is a jealous coach turned sports-analyst on ESPN. You shall worship Ditka and only his commandments.

I’m all for supporting my DC area teams by buying a jersey here, or a t-shirt there, but Ditka wrote a list of nine commandments to govern fandom and we must live by them. These are our laws.

Winning six Super Bowls is quite the feat, one that should be celebrated, but why would the Steelers celebrate this by creating a six gnome set for it? This has to be one of the weirder things that I’ve seen in a long time (ever?) and I must enforce Ditkas laws of sports man.

Where do you put this monstrosity? Do you pet each gnome before every game for luck? Do you put them in your yard and yell at little kids that try to steal them because they have mind-controlling powers? I can’t answer these questions, but someone needs to for me. I expect something like this from a dedicated [sic] fan on eBay, but the official Steelers team store? C’mon.

Also offending the second commandment:

The official Steelers Forest Face. ugh.


RIP Steve McNair. 1973-2009.

July 6, 2009


It’s such a damn shame to see all of these prominent figures in entertainment pass away and now it’s hitting the sports world as well.

Steve McNair was found dead Saturday as the result of an apparent murder-suicide involving his extramarital girlfriend.

McNair was always a stand-up guy that played his ass off every Sunday in the league and put up amazing stats during his collegiate career at Alcorn State.

His stellar athletic play was never overshadowed by selfishness and his charity work during his time with the Titans and Ravens will be missed.

Rest in Peace Steve McNair, it’s sad to see anyone go at such a young age.

Travis Henry knocked up another chick.

June 22, 2009

Knocked Up

HOW DOES HE DO IT? Travis Henry has knocked up nine different women resulting in nine children he has to pay child support for… until now.

Because now, a Florida woman is claiming Henry knocked her up too, resulting in twins, who are now 18-months-old. I always find this topic of athletes getting a ridiculous amount of girls pregnant, especially when someone like 100% Injury Rate compiles a list so I don’t have to.

For Henry, these are tough times. Drug charges and a lack of a paycheck plaque the 30-year-old and the whopping $15,000 a month court ordered child support doesn’t exactly help.

So how did Henry end up with all these illegitmate kids? It’s simple you see…

“I did use protection at first. Then they’d be saying they’d be on the pill. I was an idiot to trust them. Second or third time with them, I didn’t use it. Then, boom!” [via Deadspin]

Well maybe after you got the first five or so pregnant you might, you know, maybe, STOP TRUSTING THEM? I always joke around saying certain people simply shouldn’t procreate, but damn, Henry and all these other athletes are probably creating a super race of future hall of famers. My kids won’t even have a chance in rec league sports.

[via Deadspin]

Dozier was denied admission to Georgia. Obviously something fishy went on at Memphis.

June 5, 2009
(Commandment VIII - You shall not commit major recruiting violations, nor tamper with other franchises players.)

(Commandment VIII - You shall not commit major recruiting violations, nor tamper with other franchises players.)

The latest report on the Memphis SAT scandal comes from beautiful Athens Georgia, where Robert Dozier was denied admission to the University of Georgia because of questionable scores on the standardized test. Dozier eventually ended up playing for John Calipari at Memphis, helping the team to the Final Four. Calipari is now the head coach at Kentucky.

Dozier had verbally agreed to attending Memphis before scoring a 1,260 (out of 1,600) on the SAT. After that test, Dozier changed his commitment to Georgia. An anonymous letter to the NCAA clearinghouse called the score into question, at which time Georgia denied Dozier admission to the school. Dozier’s second take at the test notched him a score of 720, just 20 points above the cutoff for any type of eligibility in Division I sports.

Memphis will go in front of the NCAA committee on infractions on Saturday because of the accusation of Derrick Rose’s faulty SAT scores. The Dozier case will not be included in the hearing because it was not in the intial letter of inquiry.

Obviously, there are many holes in Memphis’ story and whether the accusations of falsified tests and faulty admission practices are true, there are problems with how schools not only go about recruiting possibly ineligible students, but also the systems in place that are supposed to prevent schools from committing these infractions. Every school has an office specifically to police itself, looking for possible infractions, but they are often inadequate. Whether the school does this on purpose (which I find unlikely) or whether they believe it is not cost efficient, the NCAA needs to step up and fix the broken system with new by-laws that prevent individuals at every school from being able to skirt the rules.

The purpose of athletics at schools are to raise revenues but the importance of a student first, athlete second is vital to keeping college athletics fair.

Tuesday Links brought to you by THE CHOPS.

June 2, 2009


Sorry for the lack of posts today but I will be out of the theoretical office for the rest of the day. Have fun with these links from around the interweb and if you get too excited over Erin Andrews, don’t forget the tissues.

Erin Andrews works the room at the NCAA Football 10 Draft Premiere. You’re welcome. [Inside EA Sports Blog]

SHOCK OF A LIFETIME: Penguin fans are complaining [Detroit 4 Lyfe]

In case you missed it, Conan treks the U.S. to kick of The Tonight Show. [Yes But No But Yes]

Danica Patrick makes me uncomfortable and signs some man-boobs. [Fan IQ]

Rally car crashes are only fun when no one gets hurt. The driver in this one comes close. Watch now! DIDDY MAU! [With Leather]

The NCAA found there wasn’t any problem with Derrick Rose’s SAT’s, pretty much letting Memphis off the hook. Here’s a list of teams that weren’t so lucky and had to vacate their tournament appearances [Rivals]

DC sports teams aren’t very good at retaining their coaches, in fact they’re the worst. Manny Acta will be gone soon too. [DC Sports Bog]

The Illini are backing out of their rivalry games in St Louis against Missouri. Did they really expect to win when they started it? [ESPN Big 12 Blog]

If all else fails, just blame The Simpsons. [Warming Glow]

Stephanie Rice is a cutie. Yeah, I said cutie, do something. [Holy Taco]

Babes of the French Open. [COED Magazine]

Yeah, have fun with that.