Archive for the ‘Wrap-up’ Category


July 6, 2009


I know everyone was busy getting drunk and blowing their hands off with those gosh darn firecrackers, but some other stuff was going on this weekend too. Also, sorry about the week off, just too much to do. I’ll be back in full force this week though, so stay tuned.

Joey Chestnut inhales 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes. That’s not healthy, is it? – I think every Independence day we should challenge other nations in which we have beaten in war to eating contests. I’m pretty sure we’d win them all if we have Joey Chestnut on our side. Chestnut went home with his second Nathans belt after demolishing 68 hot dogs to Takeru Kobayashi’s 64. Chestnut had the lead throughout the competition on Saturday morning and never let it go. HELL YEAH! Now that, my friend, is what America is all about. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Federer takes down Roddick for #15 – Roddick worked hard taking Federer to five sets (5-7, 7-6 (6), 7-6 (5), 3-6, 16-14) but nothing could stop the Swiss swordsman from taking his 15th major, moving him past Pete Sampras for major wins. Roddick will always be the American we know and love that is amazing at what he does, but came at a time when there were two players that have absolutely dominated the Tennis world. He will win a major sometime in his career but it did not come this weekend in which we celebrate the founding of our country. Tough loss, but also congratulations go to Federer.

Timmy Chang, former University of Hawaii QB got arrested – I’m a huge fan of the run and gun offense in college football which makes me sad to see Timmy Chang throwing cameras on top of a roof than footballs down the field to receivers.

The 27-year-old Chang was arrested at his Mililani home Thursday after a woman alleged her camera was taken away from her while she was filming a brawl last month in the Pearlridge area.

A man, whom Honolulu police say was Chang, told the woman to stop filming the fight. A struggle ensued and the suspect allegedly took the camera and threw it on the roof of a nearby building.

Yeah, but how big was the building? Was his control solid or was has his arm slumped since his years at Hawaii. These are the facts I need to know. Really. I’m not even kidding now.


Weekend wrap-up: THREE new champions and I missed them all. G’damnit.

June 15, 2009


I suppose it’s wrong to give you a wrap-up on a weekend of sports I didn’t even have a chance to watch but I’ll do it anyway.

Friday: I worked, Penguins won. Double fml. Not cool. The Stanley Cup and the Lombardi trophy now reside in the same city, which is cool if it were any other place than Pittsburgh. I bet those silly western Pennsylvanians think their Pirates will win as well. HA! HA I SAY!

The game 7 did bring in an audience of 9.07 million views on Friday, which is a big plus for a league that has been struggling for ratings since the lockout. It usually gives me chills the second a team wins a championship, but I really didn’t feel anything this time. I really hate the Penguins that much. I’ll at least be courteous and say congrats on winning it all.

Now back to making fun of them:

Crosby and Malkin: 2 girls, 1 cup.

Saturday: The Hershey Bears took down the Manitoba Moose (Meese?) for their record-setting 10th Calder Cup! I wasn’t working but I expected to miss this one 1.) I’m 1,000 miles away 2.) The AHL doesn’t exactly televise games. This win is important (at least to Capitals fans at least) because both of the Caps minor league affiliates have now won their respective league titles. The ECHL South Carolina Stingrays (like AA) also won their third Kelly Cup, which also happens to tie the record for the league! Congrats to all!

Sunday: Once again, another championship game I couldn’t watch. I had work. FML. The Lakers were able to finish off the series in Orlando with a 99-86 win.

Kobe won his first without Shaq and Phil Jackson is sure to still be smoking one fat-ass cigar in celebration of his record 10th NBA Championship. Phil Jackson may be the greatest, but I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, if I hear ONE person comparing Kobe to Jordan, prepare for a beatdown. Be warned ESPN commentators. I know you’re stupid, but don’t make it obvious to the whole GD world.

In other news, Los Angeles, the city of Angels, burned to the ground last night. No, not because of rioters, but because Satan finally got his wish.

Weekend wrap-up: Still hungover.

June 8, 2009


It was a pretty good weekend in sports and movies so let’s get down to business.

The Hangover grossed $43.3 million in its box office debut, just barely losing to that damn Pixar movie. If you haven’t seen The Hangover yet, go see it now. I don’t care if you’re in summer school, working, or mid-jerk, you need to see this movie. From the Old School references to Zach Galifiankis’ random questions (is this the real Ceasers Palace?), this movie is nothing short of classic. I could have gone for some more Galifiankis but this flick is nothing short of amazing. BOOM!

The Red Wings absolutely stomped the Penguins to take a 3-2 lead in the series. Only the home teams have won so far this series but that could all change come Tuesday in Pittsburgh.

It wasn’t a blowout but the Lakers were able to take a 2-0 lead on the Magic in OT last night. If only Courtney Lee remembered the fundamentals of the bank shot (USE THE WHITE BOX), this series would be tied. I’ve been pulling for the Magic but deep down I figured the Lakers would be able to capture their first title since Shaq left.

Horse racing once again failed to capture my amazement as Summer Bird prevented Mine That Bird’s Calvin Borel from capturing the jockeys Triple Crown at the Belmont Stakes. Thanks a lot, dick.

Oh yeah and Roger Federer won his 14th Grand Slam, tying him with Pete Sampras. But you don’t care about that do you? Oh you do? Well shit.

More posts coming today so check yourself before you wreck yourself.